Jaime “Jim” Picoc...It was supposed to be only a Christmas vacation, only a few weeks away from school. I never planned to drop out, nor did I ever think or have an inkling that a few weeks would end up a year, more like a lifetime. Nor did I think that a progression of mistakes and missteps would take me away from life-long childhood friends and people whom I held dear (without knowing).

It saddens me today that I was so foolish, so afraid of my own petty demons, fears, and my lack of self-esteem to have done so. Regrets? Too late, too embarrassing, too painful to make right promptly. But I did go back, to finish up, to make my wrong “right.” Leilehua High School, Class of ‘70. Why? Mostly embarrassment I think, “...real shame you know?” I graduated upper 5th in class standing. Big deal?

Then, it was into the Navy to serve, what I thought (and still do, but that is another tale) was a just and right cause in South East Asia. Then it was another year, and another, then 21, before I retired out. Oh, I still repair ships, but now in Washington State, Puget Sound Naval Shipyard. Sorry but they weren’t hiring in Pearl at the time. Still .... there is that wonder in the back of my head ....

“What if?” And what great lesson does one learn from such foolish decision to drop out? Perhaps that friends will never forget you, that there will ever be an “Aloha!” for those who wandered away but were never forgotten, that no matter how low your opinion of yourself, there will be those who will miss you, wonder where you went (What? Jail or prison?), and what you’re up to now.I have been blessed and humbled to find many of you who remember this man, who was once a foolish kid, and that so many faces light up to see me still alive and kicking. That I missed for years so many people who I call friend even makes my error seem worse at times. But I am over that now, for I was made welcome again, called “stupid” for doing such a thing. And they, you, are right for saying so….but….I was pretty lolo then too. So when the reunion happens this time, please forgive me if I come up and grasp your hand or give you a hug, step back and look into your eyes, seeking the kids I grew up with. I hope to find the child in each of us, still alive and being rascals. And honestly, you will never hear me say, “ ... Whooo, you got old ‘eh!” We were young at heart then, and I for one, see no reason to change!
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...update April 2009:

... it starts, "I remember days when we were younger, we used to catch oopu in the mountain stream ..." Written in "our time" by Jerry Santos, from Olomana. I sing it out loud to myself as I drive around, up here in Washington state. (Pretty good too, but that's my opinion Hahahaha) The lyrics strike a chord with me, for the times passed, never to come by again. Not because the places have changed (and they have), or time has moved on, but like the line later, "... move with it slowly, as on down the road we go. Please do not hold on to me, we all must go alone ..... "

And far we all have come, to this point in our lives. Yet for all the company we have kept close and lost track of, all the friends we have made along the way, it is "the me" in all of us that has stayed through it all. Within each of us is that young soul who thought we knew everything there was to know, once. Timid, shy, loud & bloisterous, matters little now. We all went out into the world, to seek our fortune and make our mark. Years have since slipped by, and our joints, and limbs remind us so well in the morning when we wake. Yet I still rise with a smile and a tilt to my head, for it seems I still haven't learned any better. You see, I came from a wondrous place. "Yeah," perhaps the vision is not crystal clear, and there are things I have let get clouded and slip by, but the important thing, the heart of the matter has remained clear and strong. And that my friends, was that for all the negatives of the time, I/we were able to laugh and be free of spirit. A time of great innocence, a time when the world didn't weigh so heavily upon us.
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So now the year of a 40th reunion has come. So many years, so quickly have they passed? Were we asleep, not paying attention ? Or have we enjoyed the ride so much, we just never noticed ? Perhaps a little of them all. For in all that time passed, there are many of you that I have remembered. Many, I met up the street from me, from kindergarden through the time when I left. You, my friends, had taught me much. Even when you never meant to, when you didn't even notice.

Humility, strength, curiousity, wonder, friendship, loyalty, and more. I watched, listened, and learned. I sorted through everything you folks showed me. Thought about it. Filtered it through what I was taught at home. In the end, I came away with the guy I see in the mirror. Kinda rough, about the edges, shaved on top, yet with a smile for the fool who looks back at me. You have all touched and molded my character, as I am sure many others have helped to form yours. We learned by example, and all we really had to see and compare to was each other, or didn't you notice. There were those in our youth we wanted to be like. Envied, copied, or modified to suit. The soul of me, remains the child I was years ago. I even let "him" out to play now and again. To smile and laugh at the world around me. But part of that "me" will always be those of you who touched me so long ago. With kindness, anger, and friendship. Simple folks, who welcomed me back again after 30+ years being gone.

So the time has come again. Time to come together smile and remember. To catch up on years past and marvel or shake our heads at what we have done with ourselves. Let us not compare where we are today, with what the other thought we should have done or been. Let us instead revel in the life that remains in us still. The laughter that still come easily to out hearts, the smile to our lips as we greet the other. We will come together from many different roads of life, from different experiences. Yet, let us not forget from where we came, and of those we touched along the way. Let us not look to the other and see the gray, the crinkles about the eyes, the extra 'us" we carry around now. Nor the funny way we move when we are cold, or even the sound we make as we do so. Smile and come on over to shake our hands, touch or just so smile foolishly and "talk story." It's okay, for we were/are still friends.

So as the snow falls outside my place, and the temps drop, I will sing along still. My heart light, for you my friends who will always remain a part of me.

" ... and I will greet you as I find you, with the sharing of a brand new song. Last night I dream't I was returning, and my heart called out to you. So please accept me as you find me. Me Ke Aloha, Kuu Home O Waipahu" (sorry Olomana, for the change)

Jaime Jim Picoc